I have struggled with anxiety and OCD most of my adult life. I have been curious about psychedelic therapy for many years, and have always had the hope it could help me. Psilocybin therapy was not advised for me given I’m on the highest dose of my SSRI, but I stumbled across Ketamine Assisted Therapy. It took me a year to finally go for it, and I’m not only glad I did, but also pleased I went through with the right attitude. When I first found Klearwell, I was desperate to be ‘fixed’, for my obsessive intrusive thoughts and behaviours to go away entirely. (An attitude which, if you know anything about OCD, is close to the heart of the disorder…) I eventually adjusted my mindset to: let’s see what this presents, if it can make me 5% better, it will be worth it.
It was worth it. I feel such gratitude to the team at Klearwell, I felt physically and emotionally cared for, and safe to be vulnerable in both respects. I had anxieties about the ketamine right before we started, and the team addressed these in a way that was reassuring but always honest. They didn’t pretend there would not be challenges, and in fact, much of the value in the experience is in seeing what difficulties arise around and during the therapy.
My therapist, was exceptional. She was experienced, wise and warm, and I will never forget our sessions. I have done a fair bit of therapy in my time and I had a couple of experiences in the integration sessions that shifted my mind and body in a way I have been unable to before. There is so much focus in the media on the drug-induced experience, however, I would say most of the value for me was in the integration sessions.
I would encourage anybody who senses it could help them to go for it. Go in with an open mind as to what it will do for you – you will still be you, but there’s a chance something will shift inside to take away a small part of the shadow you are carrying.
